I don’t know if you got my twitter…or ‘tweet,’ I guess, although I still feel funny saying that. So, I’ll put it here. I know you read this.

By the time you get this, I’ll be gone.

We both knew it was coming. Honestly, it’d been heading this way for a while. We were just going through the motions, anyway. Don’t get me wrong, there were some great times. You were my first. You always remember your first. Well, there was Premiere Elements before you, but I don’t even count that one. So, for all practical purposes, you were my first. It was in college, and we clicked right off the bat. I loved the funny little names you had for your “things.” To this day, I can’t say ‘dongle’ without giggling.

I know we had some rough patches - and I know I screamed some pretty nasty things at you. I may have even struck you a time or two. But, that was a younger me. A more immature me. Overall, I think we did pretty well together. Remember the kids commercial? That had regional run on TV. We did that together. And the blood countdown? That got so many compliments. Although, it almost got my butt sued by Sony. I’m not blaming you. But, since then, you’ve changed. Maybe I have, too.

I think the biggest thing that has come between us is communication. I can’t count how many times you’ve said “Flamethrower error” to me. I don’t even know what that means.

“Well, if you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.”

The final straw was during one of our big blowouts. It was about eight months ago and everything crashed and corrupted. I went looking for someone else, and I found Final Cut Studio. It’d always been there, but I never paid it much mind. Off and on we’d do some projects, but it wasn’t a big deal. Just business. But this time, I needed help. I had a deadline, and you were doing your pouty “not opening” crap that had become more and more frequent. So, I opened FC. And it was amazing. We understood each other, and we worked together seamlessly.

I’d still come back to you from time to time just to keep suspicions down. But, I’d moved on to FC.

But today, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep lying to all of us. I need off of this rollercoaster. I’m leaving you. I’m already gone.

It’s not you, it’s me. Well..no, actually…it is you.

Steve

P.S. I’m taking After Effects with me

P.P.S I’ll be back for my things

P.P.P.S. We’ll always have “dongle.”