• Get it together, Saltine Cracker Company! #
  • If I’m starting a team, I take Lebron. If I need to win 1 game, I take Kobe. If I need a roomie for a ski trip, I take Lebron. #
  • @BigRedinTejas @tbonetaylor - I think you guys are missing my ski trip reference. Specifically one in CO. in reply to BigRedinTejas #
  • I’ll bet the high powered rinse at the self serve car wash could take a nipple clean off. #
  • Orlando should run a play for Marcin Gortat’s nose. #
  • Listening to @tbonetaylor talk about WWDC like a little kid on Christmas. Figuring out which kind of wedgie I’m going to give him. #
  • I hope the iphone OS 3.0 update includes the ability to make and receive phone calls. #
  • Apple’s first official announcement at WWDC 2009: http://bit.ly/bo99s #
  • For the record, I’m not against “babies,” nor am I a fan of “not curing cancer,” just because I declined to join facebook groups. #
  • A little disappointed at the public response to my 1000th tweet. Rethinking my Twee2k celebration. Canceling the catering spread for sure. #
  • Sometimes when I wake up, my hair looks like Hugh Jackman’s in Wolverine. Same with my pecs and abs. #
  • @tbonetaylor - It’s not my job to close the deal for you. I can’t hold your hand through the whole process. You screwed it up somewhere in reply to tbonetaylor #
  • @tbonetaylor All I know is, she was on board to go with you when I talked to her. And 4 days later, you were dateless. Connect the dots. in reply to tbonetaylor #
  • @tbonetaylor I suppose we could turn around and have this conversation. in reply to tbonetaylor #
  • I have enough sideburns to feed a small army. Providing said small army eats sideburns. And there are only like two tiny soldiers. #
  • I think the only thing that stands in the way of my being a professional athlete is the Cheetos for breakfast. #
  • Looking for recommendations for reputable (and reasonably priced) San Antonio moving companies. Any help? #
  • If a midget couple has a multi-child birth, The Learning Channel is going to explode. #
  • #Squarespace - Please? #
  • In case any of my friends ever decide to throw a party with a gigantic slip n slide - I’d like to go ahead and submit my RSVP now. #
  • The Spurs were going to take Jameer Nelson the year he was drafted, but Orlando drafted him right ahead of SA. They got Beno. Just sayin’. #
  • #squarespace - cmon! I’m still on the 1st gen phone. I’m ostracized from society. (everybody else, ignore these squarespace tweets) #
  • Batting practice at 8am? Not sure how I feel about that. (#squarespace) #
  • Now that somebody else brought the issue to the forefront, I actually believe that these chickens be jacking my style, as well. #